This falls into that WAY TMI category, but I have to tell the tmi for it all to make sense.

Sorry.

Not sex, Mom.

Months ago I asked my therapists a questions I figured they would have a solution for.

“When you only have one arm to hold you, how do you pull you pull your pants down so you can go to the bathroom?”

Lots of answers, right?

None.

Nada.

Zip.

Zero.

I was floored that there was no solution.

But I was even MORE amazed that in all their combined years of therapy, no one had asked about a basic function.

This was a fundamental part of independence.

Something EVERYONE does.

I had to come up with my own solution.

I tried several types of underwear. Then found the ones that pulled to the side.

Then I did what was know (in my world) as the Bathing Suit Method.

I wore dresses.

Skirts that could be tucked into my bra.

This worked for a long time.

Then I started practicing standing on two feet.

Balancing on two legs.

And the I did this….

Ok.

This picture is important for a few reasons.

*The picture of the floor shows my shadow and the fact that I was standing

*I f I took a picture with my cell phone camera while standing then I wasn’t holding onto ANYTHING

*That was the longest I had stood, without support, since November 2009

**Those two odd tiles are where they widened the doorway!!! (which is totally off-topic, but cool!)**

Since I make this breakthrough of trusting my right leg to hold me, and gave my left arm some freedom I’ve done something major.

I can take my underwear OFF.

I’ve started wearing pants again.

When summer comes this year, I will pull on my own shorts.

Maybe I’ll take a picture of them.

I promised to wear my Wonder Woman Underoos.

I’m pretty sure it’s the only reason they picked me.

Amanda and I had a little time to kill (since I wasn’t a terrorist this time) and we headed for coffee.

We always have a little tussle when it comes to paying for coffee.

My turn.  Her turn.  My turn.  Her turn.

MY TRIP = MY TURN. MY TURN. MYTURNMYTURNMYTURN.

We wheeled to the nearest Starbucks.

And the who-will-pay dance started.

She was past my last argument.

“Are you really going to fight with the handicap chick?”

I think it wore off in NC.

So I was going to have to come up with something new.

I leaned over.

I opened my mouth.

The sound the sound that came out was a cross between a woolly mammoth in labor and a really drunken Green Bay Packers fan.

Amanda snorted in surprise and laughed so hard she almost peed her pants.

The best part?

Was the people walking behind us that thought Amanda was just laughing at that poor girl in the wheelchair. That glared at her. And scowled. Who’s dirty looks made Amanda laugh harder.

For the record, I won.

ps…You have NO IDEA how long it can take to make one crappy drawing with the wrong hand.

pss.  Lie and tell me this is the greatest drawing you’ve ever seen.

psss.  I like lies.