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the “D” word

Douchebandit. That’s the “d” word I was thinking about. What were YOU thinking of? Douchebandits. Douchebag McGreggor. Douchemover. All good words to describe certain behavior. I would LOVE to justify it by saying that *I* have never acted that way. But I have. So has Pete. Out of anger. Confusion. Fear. Frustration. Hurt. Just because [...]

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another frustrated photographer

Peyton had a project I helped her do. It was printing a picture for each year to build a timeline of PEYTON. We printed the pictures out.  Peyton as a baby.  Peyton as a toddler.  Peyton with cancer. Peyton just before I had the strokes. The final picture was one of my favorites. One I [...]

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first we have naps and then juice and cookies

It isn’t just that my body isn’t what it used to be in terms of size of my thighs, the color of my roots or the direction of my nipples, I am frustrated with what feels like weakness in my basic stamina. It gets on my nerves that I have to sleep every day. I [...]

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i give free kittens!

Don’t punch me,  but I need you to click over to Babble and vote for me with a Facebook “like”. I wouldn’t normally do it, but this is a really good reason. Mominations is your chance to shine a light of recognition on an incredible mom doing good work, and put her in the running [...]

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the power of a word

I am a strong believer in the power of a word. Um. Duh?? But I have really strong feelings regarding people that use words to hide. I hear people who bury themselves behind things like. “I had a really rough childhood.” You know what? So did I. There was the adoption/abandonment issue. There was the  [...]

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talks with Dr Weight and tips that work for us

Dr. Weight called. The doctor’s who’s job it was to discuss any long-term body issues like bone density, growth or WEIGHT. We talked long and hard about what Peyton took from that conversation. We discussed how hard it is to make sure survivors are getting the care and SURVEILLANCE they need. We went over how [...]

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…and then i ripped off her arm and beat her to death with it.

Not really. But I thought about it. Really hard. Yesterday, Peyton had her first appointment at the SURVIVORSHIP CLINIC. Oncology, Endocrinology, Psychology, Neurology, Research, and simple lab work. Peyton’s doing great, she’s wonderfully healthy and we talked about a few issues that I knew were over her head. Then one doctor got on a subject [...]

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words can be a great thing

Dear Parents of Peyton Mayhew… I can’t tell you how many letters over the years have been news we didn’t want. But this was good. So good. Great. FABULOUS. Now this this only three years out of five until we can use the “cured” with confidence. And nothing is ever guaranteed. But these words made [...]

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the bags are in the closet…for now

I can never forget what it feels like, I forgot how a thought can steal your breath away. I forgot what shower tiles look like through a cloud of tears. I forgot the strength it takes to pick up your phone when you’ve seen who it is. The doctor made a call that took me [...]

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making a deal i can keep

It’s not very often that someone will ask a question and I know the answer to it. I’m usually asking the kids answers to questions about square roots and wind velocity. But I happen to know this inside out. Sort of depressing, but I do know it. Peyton’s cancer. She’s finished her second year post-treatment [...]

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penny for penny…unless you don’t do math and then you’re screwed

I spent a lot of time waiting on doctors today. Something I’m pretty used to doing. Before I was the “coma mom” or the “wheelchair mom”,  I was always the “cancer mom”. I had two healthy legs and two healthy arms and if THIS is the price I pay for my daughter’s healthy body, I’ll [...]

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Happy First Anniversary, Peyton

It’s been a year. A year since I handed Peyton her last dose of chemotherapy medicine and she downed it like a champ. A year since the clock started ticking….the one that counts off the days to five years. She’s finally gotten to the age where she’s got more days off-chemo than on-chemo in her [...]

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There’s not enough candy in the world for this much crazy

Peyton had an oncology checkup on Tuesday. I had the pukes. They rescheduled it for Wednesday. I still didn’t feel like I was safe to be around the immune-compromised kids, so I canceled that one too. Now, we wait until next week to see her doctor and get her bloodwork. And I’m sort of relieved. [...]

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