I haven’t been inside my shower since November 2009.  Today I sat outside the door and looked in.

Shampoo was still in the same place.  So was the razor for shaving your chin (or legs, depending who you are).  Ready for use was the bath soap, the adult kind, not the kid’s.

No one would ever know that it’s a place full of fears.

What if I fall?

What if I slip?

What if it causes me more pain in my eye?

Perspective changes when you only have one arm to work with.

Do I choose to wash myself? Or do I hold myself up. How do I pull myself in? Is there a way to pull yourself out?

I dare you to get naked (heh), tie one arm where you can’t use it, then wash your hair.  Did I tell you to hop on one foot?

You have to think of all of these things and you’ll still forget now and then.  But there is one thing you never have, the thing you can’t forget, what you were SO used to that you have to get over….

privacy.

Someone will always have to be there.  You can never be alone.

Even if you wanted.

Sooooo, there are certain motivators that can inspire you to get things done.

The thrill of a job completed just isn’t doing it for me anymore.

Take laundry, for instance.

One might think that just the fabulous smell of fresh clean clothing would be enough. Or maybe the knowledge that YES, those underwear are, in fact, clean…without the sniff test!  Even the lack of “I have nothing to wear” whining in the morning SHOULD be reason enough to desire to do laundry.

It isn’t.

It’s come to this:

OH YEAH.  Thursday I’m getting on one of these shiny little numbers, a Disney Cruise Line ship for a few days with some with some other fun blogger ladies….no, not with my family…I know. I SUCK.

And they say I get to spend some time here…Castaway Cay.  I might get lost and stay a while. Not saying I will….just saying something could happen, you know?

But before I can get on the boat? I have to finish the laundry and a to-do list a mile long.  I might even time myself to see what I can do with the right motivation.

And?

The BEST.PART.EVER?

There’s a LOT of water involved in this trip.

Um…swimming, beaches, snorkeling…and they have denied my request to wear sweatpants during these outings.

I’m supposed to wear one of these:

Which, I KNOW I just said I was going to think better about my body self-image. But seriously. I think we all know it’s going to feel a lot less:

and waaaay too much this:

Sexy, ain’t I?