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…and then i ripped off her arm and beat her to death with it.

Not really. But I thought about it. Really hard. Yesterday, Peyton had her first appointment at the SURVIVORSHIP CLINIC. Oncology, Endocrinology, Psychology, Neurology, Research, and simple lab work. Peyton’s doing great, she’s wonderfully healthy and we talked about a few issues that I knew were over her head. Then one doctor got on a subject [...]

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hallmark has nothing

Yesterday was Mother’s Day. Most celebrated the mother in their life. They were one. They were going to be one.  They had been one. They were always going to be the child of one. Just this one time I’m going to dance around in my underwear, stick out my tongue and say “NA NA NA [...]

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Disney Dream, part 2

We came. We saw. We ate a lot of chocolate. There was incredible time in the AquaDuck. There were kids’ clubs that left the grown ups alone and we indulged in that one thing every parent can never get enough of. Hot dinner! There was tons of great times on the ship, but it was [...]

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a space of theirs

Writing has been an outlet for me. A way to get my feelings on paper. Get them out of me so I can go on day to day. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that for my kids. Why wouldn’t they need a way to express what is going on in their busy [...]

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nobody puts my kids in a corner

Yesterday Peter and I met with a pediatrician who told us that our kids seemed to have a lot of pent up emotions. I’m going to let that one simmer for a second. The kids who have dealt with their mom having a stroke. Then their baby sister going through cancer treatment. After which, mom [...]

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what matters

I’ve been off my normal schedule this week. I went to a celebration of women in social media. I had injections of Phenol in my leg. I had an unusual amount of work to complete. I did more than my average amount of exercise. I bent over backwards to hear my kids laugh.  “Driving them [...]

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going back to school might require drinks

We went through the doors like a herd of drunk emu. To be honest I don’t know what a drunken emu really looks like. But, seriously, if it can cause panic on the faces of hairdressers in Great Clips across the country, you have to wonder if the emu might not know something we don’t. [...]

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i want to be a wuss, but i have a reason that most people don’t

“Is there anything wrong, mama?” My six-year-old will ask while she lays her head of soft brown locks on my chest.  She wraps her little arms as far as they will go to offer comfort on those days when I feel less than whole.  Maybe no one knows the way she does…not even her yet. [...]

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my house, the best way to not find a way outside…like, ever

There is this place in my house that will give me a great view. I can see incoming traffic and the cute lawn guys. Every day I get the best look at the new plants by my driveway and the kids riding their bikes back and forth. Then the weather will get hot.  Kids will [...]

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oh! the joy of motherhood…it takes a lot of SOMETHING

I woke to the smell of cooking eggs and muffins. “Don’t look, mama!!” is screamed at me. Plates made of goofy writing and coffee cups with smiling pictures adhered carefully are as good as gift of gold. The sun shines down on gleaming smiles and freshly scrubbed faces. “He’s touching me!” “She used my blue [...]

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kids are my reason for working harder, they are also the reason i had to go to AA

People will ask what my motivation was for getting better. I wanted to get out of the hospital for sure. Walking again has always been something I tried to do. But mostly, the number one thing has always been my kids. The kids that make me laugh. The kids that make me try one more [...]

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And THIS? Is how it all starts to spiral out of control

My son got hit on for the first time. She walked by and looked at him and then said “I think you’re pretty hot.” He never quit smiling all evening. That is all. I can be found huddled in the back of my closet, swigging straight from the bottle and comfort eating Jelly Bellies.

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On this first day of school

My kids started school today. I KNOW! We start wicked early but that’s a really good thing because OHMYFREAKINGHECK do my kids need to be around some other kids.  And out of my butt hair. Thursday was open house at their respective schools…the girls at the same elementary school and Nathaniel at *gulp* middle school. [...]

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