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my first

He was the first person I ever held in my arms that shared my blood. The girls would come, but HE WAS MY FIRST. The doctor put him on my belly and I can’t even explain what happened. The sun exploded. Time stopped. Everything that WAS changed. It happened two more times. But he was [...]

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being together

Christmas morning at the nursing home was an experience. I lived in this constant fear of my family leaving and not coming back. There were cards, the kids brought gifts, we tried to celebrate together. I remember the laughing of the kids. I hugged them SO tight. I was very tired, but was afraid to [...]

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the “in case” letter

A few years ago I wrote a letter to Nathaniel and Rachael apologizing for all the failures they suffered through Peyton’s cancer treatment. It was an important letter because I wanted the kids to know that I was aware of how I’d let them down. But it didn’t mean I loved them any less. So, [...]

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Invisalign: how did we know our kid was ready

Lia brought up one of the greatest arguments surrounding Invisalign for teen: IS THE ADDED COST GOING TO BE WORTH IT? You all probably think that because I’m a part of the Mom’s Advisory Board and Nathaniel got his Invisalign trays complimentary that we opted to get the trays instead of standard braces. Truth of [...]

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when cocktails aren’t a good thing

When time comes, I will buy Nathaniel a case of beer. I know that regardless of our warnings and the statistics, the truth is our kids will want to learn the drinking truth for themselves. I don’t believe that a “magic” age comes along when kids suddenly become ready for the responsibility that being able [...]

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how we do things: the money bowls

<– Money Bowl The Mayhew kids went to their loving mother and said, “Mom, we’d like to do extra odd jobs to earn money to save for things like college or annuities.” Mom Mayhew clapped her hands in joy and showered the children in countless dollar bills. They all lived happily ever after. The end. [...]

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what they will be

Here I can be very serious, raw and truthful about recovery. At Aiming Low I get to revel in the funny that makes some people cringe. A new site we latched is a site of the absurd. On places like Twitter, Facebook  and Google+ I am pretty much what you’d think I’m like. I am [...]

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vacation without daddy

Im in Florida. On vacation. I’m not having any deeper thoughts than I absolurely HAVE to. I have one that is enjoying the pool and water. I have one enjoying a social calendar. I have one who hit some puberty warp speed at the state line that made hirm suddeny taller and gave him a [...]

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join us for 1

Back in the day, when Peyton was sick, we did part of our treatment at All Children’s Hospital in St. Petersburg, FL. From our house to the hospital it was over an hour and a half drive. Totally worth it, when it’s your child. Part of Peyton’s “roadmap” called for her to undergo cranial radiation. [...]

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talks with Dr Weight and tips that work for us

Dr. Weight called. The doctor’s who’s job it was to discuss any long-term body issues like bone density, growth or WEIGHT. We talked long and hard about what Peyton took from that conversation. We discussed how hard it is to make sure survivors are getting the care and SURVEILLANCE they need. We went over how [...]

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…and then i ripped off her arm and beat her to death with it.

Not really. But I thought about it. Really hard. Yesterday, Peyton had her first appointment at the SURVIVORSHIP CLINIC. Oncology, Endocrinology, Psychology, Neurology, Research, and simple lab work. Peyton’s doing great, she’s wonderfully healthy and we talked about a few issues that I knew were over her head. Then one doctor got on a subject [...]

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why pretty is like pez (and @Chookooloonks)

Strokes aren’t pretty. They aren’t. I’m not. Now, I can hear you sputtering about how I should find mysel beautiful, and I do. I’m just not PRETTY. Pretty can fade with time. Pretty is swallowed by ugliness in your soul Pretty is like candy.  It’s good, it’s fun, you want some, but it won’t FEED [...]

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a space of theirs

Writing has been an outlet for me. A way to get my feelings on paper. Get them out of me so I can go on day to day. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that for my kids. Why wouldn’t they need a way to express what is going on in their busy [...]

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