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my mother’s gift

I was too young to fully grasp my loss when I left that hospital alone. I was a beaming 23 when I brought home my first baby. A little older when my first daughter took her wobbly steps. I felt ancient at my youngest’s cancer bedside. Next year I am the mom of a high [...]

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making Mother’s Day a little more

I’ve known a lot of mothers. I’ve been a mother for 14 years. I’ve known mothers who fought a daily battle with emotional, mental or physical disease in their own bodies. I’ve knows mothers who would have gladly fought those battles for their child if they could. I’ve known single mothers who have struggled to [...]

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the sounds of silence

The shades block the sun from bringing me into full consciousness. I can hear breaths that tell me the day’s insanity hasn’t yet started. I snuggle deeper into the arms of drowsy peace. There are dreams that taunt from the edges of reality. Don’t wake up. Don’t do it. “Mommy? You awake?” DAMN.

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being enough parent for my kids

We’ve raised monsters. Amazing, incredible monsters. It’s such a weird line I walk between being as firm as they need and as lenient as they deserve. These kids have been through thing that would break most adults. Cancer. A come. Strokes. A life transformed to deal with a handicap. Now they have parents going through [...]

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High School Orientation

We went for “Freshmen Schedule Orientation” at Nathaniel’s soon-to-be high school. Otherwise known as “Did high school girl always look like THAT?” and “ENOUGH WITH THE BOUNCING!” day. I’m thinking of strategies. Stealing his cell phone and broadcasting a text message “thanx 4 ue support with this Herpes outbreak.” Jsnking his Facebook account and leaving [...]

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team parents

The fog is lifting. It isn’t gone. It mat never leave. It PROBABLY won’t ever leave. But the fog IS lifting. The lifting of the fog comes with working together for a common goal. it would have been a thousand time easier to have won each battle and just had my way. It would have [...]

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my first

He was the first person I ever held in my arms that shared my blood. The girls would come, but HE WAS MY FIRST. The doctor put him on my belly and I can’t even explain what happened. The sun exploded. Time stopped. Everything that WAS changed. It happened two more times. But he was [...]

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being together

Christmas morning at the nursing home was an experience. I lived in this constant fear of my family leaving and not coming back. There were cards, the kids brought gifts, we tried to celebrate together. I remember the laughing of the kids. I hugged them SO tight. I was very tired, but was afraid to [...]

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the “in case” letter

A few years ago I wrote a letter to Nathaniel and Rachael apologizing for all the failures they suffered through Peyton’s cancer treatment. It was an important letter because I wanted the kids to know that I was aware of how I’d let them down. But it didn’t mean I loved them any less. So, [...]

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Invisalign: how did we know our kid was ready

Lia brought up one of the greatest arguments surrounding Invisalign for teen: IS THE ADDED COST GOING TO BE WORTH IT? You all probably think that because I’m a part of the Mom’s Advisory Board and Nathaniel got his Invisalign trays complimentary that we opted to get the trays instead of standard braces. Truth of [...]

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when cocktails aren’t a good thing

When time comes, I will buy Nathaniel a case of beer. I know that regardless of our warnings and the statistics, the truth is our kids will want to learn the drinking truth for themselves. I don’t believe that a “magic” age comes along when kids suddenly become ready for the responsibility that being able [...]

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how we do things: the money bowls

<– Money Bowl The Mayhew kids went to their loving mother and said, “Mom, we’d like to do extra odd jobs to earn money to save for things like college or annuities.” Mom Mayhew clapped her hands in joy and showered the children in countless dollar bills. They all lived happily ever after. The end. [...]

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what they will be

Here I can be very serious, raw and truthful about recovery. At Aiming Low I get to revel in the funny that makes some people cringe. A new site we latched is a site of the absurd. On places like Twitter, Facebook  and Google+ I am pretty much what you’d think I’m like. I am [...]

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