#FreeAnissa » things that crack me up

this proves my son is a genius

Anissa Mayhew — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 15:00:44 +0000

Sometimes you look at your children with pride and think “I MADE THAT!”

Then sometimes your kid does something that makes you wonder if it’s possible they were dropped at birth by the doctor.

Anissa Mayhew — Sat, 18 Jun 2011 14:45:49 +0000

I LOVE CATS TOO.

:sob:

Anissa Mayhew — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 14:30:09 +0000

I went to Books-A-Million this weekend.

Of the millions…no trillions…of pages of BRILLIANCE to be found, we spent our time busting a gut over things like:

and

Not to forget

Please?

Duh???!!!

How many days till Father’s Day?

Anissa Mayhew — Tue, 31 May 2011 22:31:22 +0000

Once upon a time, I had quite the impressive bosom.

NO LIE.

To be really blunt about it, “the twins” were fun.

They did the BEST card tricks!

The strokes were a lot of adjustment physically.

Wheelchairs to get used to.

Legs that don’t work.

Arms that don’t feel.

Faces that aren’t straight.

But still.

THE BOOBAGES.

Even better.

The fact that I’m now in a wheelchair means people are looking down at me the entire time we talk.

Past my face.

Down my cleavage.

WAY IN THERE.

Like they’re spelunking.

Even a fairly decently cut shirt makes me feel like a Vegas showgirl that tripped onstage and lost her top…..again.

So, it just goes to prove: guys cannot NOT look at boobs.

Even when they’re attached to a crooked, handicapped package.

You can almost hear them thinking, “That poor handicapped girl, BUT LOOK AT THAT RACK!”

Or maybe that’s just MY husband.

You gotta love him.