the dream time

on August 18, 2010 in I can't make this stuff up

Tweet It was hard to explain how real my dreams felt. The coma-stage feelings were very hard to shake. There was whole series of dreams where I was in my bed but I watched those around me watching baseball. Baseball. My reality seemed to be watching the people I loved move around me and talk [...]

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today is different

on August 17, 2010 in The stuff that sucks

Tweet Face down on a padded table. Relaxing for some. Relaxing for the half that works right. Excruciating for everything else. Painful beyond belief. Teeth-gritting, muscle-tightening, crying-out pain. I’ve never cried. In all that I’ve had to do, all that they have done to me. I have never cried. I have take minutes to pull [...]

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another slice of the past you have to give up

on August 16, 2010 in The stuff that sucks

Tweet It’s hard when I’m watching my friends make plans and I know I can’t go.  Not because of cost or convenience (although those are always issues) but because of what I can and can’t do. I worry about about being the party pooper.  Being the one to one to ruin plans.  Or to bring [...]

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i have never been so happy about dirty underwear in my life

on August 15, 2010 in I can't make this stuff up

Tweet A few weeks ago I complained. Nothing terribly new, I feel like I complain every day. But I was complaining about something very specific.  How sad it made it made me to get rid of my mattress. Oh, I’ll get rid of it.  It’s older than dirt. But, I complained about the emotions that [...]

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when you care enough to send the very best you send Hugh Jackman, otherwise i guess a card will do

on August 14, 2010 in things that make me stronger

Tweet There are many thing I want to tell you.  And I will. Whether it’s therapy-related or Sears stepping in when our dryer is broken or my kid that sticks inanimate objects in HER ears.  I won’t write about those. Tonight. *cough*Peyton*cough* ANYWAY. I was looking for something and a card caught my eye.  I [...]

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getting excited by cramps will get you punched in the junk

on August 12, 2010 in things that make me stronger

Tweet There was a moment when my body was fatigued from strain. I had put so much into WALKING (with a walker and a person holding onto me) that my whole self was exhausted.  I could feel sweat on my brow and shaking in my legs. I sat for a moment, just catching my breath. [...]

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