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being enough parent for my kids

March 8, 2012

We’ve raised monsters. Amazing, incredible monsters. It’s such a weird line I walk between being as firm as they need and as lenient as they deserve. These kids have been through thing that would break most adults. Cancer. A come. Strokes. A life transformed to deal with a handicap. Now they have parents going through [...]

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my first

January 23, 2012

He was the first person I ever held in my arms that shared my blood. The girls would come, but HE WAS MY FIRST. The doctor put him on my belly and I can’t even explain what happened. The sun exploded. Time stopped. Everything that WAS changed. It happened two more times. But he was [...]

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two years ago

November 17, 2011

“Good night, mama.” My 7yo hugged and kissed me and we went through the rituals of bedtime. “I know what tomorrow is,” she said, with her arms arms still wrapped around my neck. Thinking she was talking about the dentist appointment she had, I said, “Oh yeah?” “Two years ago you had your strokes.” And [...]

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I can be beautiful for my daughter

November 6, 2009

I need to learn to love my body. I’ve had this body for thirty-five years and it’s never fully made me happy. The shoulders are too broad. The hips are too narrow. The belly is too squishy. The feet are too wide. The legs are too short. The chins are too many. And I have [...]

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